Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Lightbulb Jokes Galore!
So here are some pretty good jokes i've found and made up (If you can't tell by this post, I really like lightbulb jokes... or I have a little too much time. You decide!):
How many feminiss does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to change it and nine to form a Survivors of Darkness support group
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six to sit and hope that it turns itself in.
How many gay rights activists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The bulb shouldn't have to change for society to accept it.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you are going to be downloading patches for years after he does.
How many Apple engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Even though he is installing the Best. One. Ever. there will be a new lightbulb out next month.
How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Nevermind. Nobody would get the joke anyways...
How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he has to wait until the lighting is right.
How many conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The darkness will cause the lightbulb to change itself.
How many psychoanalysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How long have you been having this fantasy?
How many football players does it take to change a lighbulb?
The entire team! and they all get a semester's credit for it!
How many pro-lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. Two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to hold the ladder, and one to screw the light bulb into the faucet.
How many Mac software designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but you can only use his lightbulb.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to ladder the hold, the other to bulb in the screw.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
86. 12 to investigate Obama's involvement in the failure of the old light bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry, and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.
How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to screw it in, and four to screw it up.
How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision to stick with that light bulb. People who say that it is burned out are giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.
For those curious, this post took the least amount of time. Only 10 minutes at most. Must really like them lightbulb jokes haha. Anyways, heres something a little more serious, if you decide it is:
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/10/08/the-race-to-buy-up-the-world-s-water.html
Like always have a good day. Hope the lightbulb jokes brightened up your day.
How many feminiss does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to change it and nine to form a Survivors of Darkness support group
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six to sit and hope that it turns itself in.
How many gay rights activists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The bulb shouldn't have to change for society to accept it.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you are going to be downloading patches for years after he does.
How many Apple engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Even though he is installing the Best. One. Ever. there will be a new lightbulb out next month.
How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Nevermind. Nobody would get the joke anyways...
How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he has to wait until the lighting is right.
How many conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The darkness will cause the lightbulb to change itself.
How many psychoanalysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How long have you been having this fantasy?
How many football players does it take to change a lighbulb?
The entire team! and they all get a semester's credit for it!
How many pro-lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. Two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to hold the ladder, and one to screw the light bulb into the faucet.
How many Mac software designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but you can only use his lightbulb.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to ladder the hold, the other to bulb in the screw.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
86. 12 to investigate Obama's involvement in the failure of the old light bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry, and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.
How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to screw it in, and four to screw it up.
How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision to stick with that light bulb. People who say that it is burned out are giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.
For those curious, this post took the least amount of time. Only 10 minutes at most. Must really like them lightbulb jokes haha. Anyways, heres something a little more serious, if you decide it is:
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/10/08/the-race-to-buy-up-the-world-s-water.html
Like always have a good day. Hope the lightbulb jokes brightened up your day.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Blah Blah Blah
For your viewing pleasure:
http://jezebel.com/5659917/sesame-street-meets-old-spice-ad-in-awesome-educational-parody
And your entertainment needs:
http://jezebel.com/5659917/sesame-street-meets-old-spice-ad-in-awesome-educational-parody
And your entertainment needs:
Football, Halo, and Assorted violence
Hey,
Today I learned four things:
1.) The world can sometimes be a violent place - Today, I visited an 08 Abboteer, if that is the way to say it, at duke. From the moment I entered the door I was bombarded by violence. First it was the game that he played: described by this exonian as The legend of zelda on a killing spree, darkspace, or doomsday, or the adventures of dark-chilling-gory-slice-and-dice superhero demon guy in a post apocalyptic world, or whatever it was called, proved this point right away. Soon after watching this wonderful game, we played halo. I got to be a big ol human blasting away the little imp aliens with a brute shot (even if you don't know what it is, it sounds painful right?). Afterwards, I watched 22 guys ram into each other on a 100 yard strip of land. I'm not complaining. I was quite entertained by all of it, especially the Stanford/USC game, in which Stanford won. It was amazing, they were down 1 point with a minute left, and they efficiently marched down the field to win. But that's besides the point; the world can be a violent place, and sometimes I enjoy it, but really dude? You have to wonder what was going through this guys head. I think he wins a bigger award than what gawker is giving him (by the way click this guy on gawkers page for the story):
http://gawker.com/5659834/man-stabs-random-8+year+old-kid-playing-video-games
2.)Miami was not a violent place today - Miami's football team best demonstrated this point. The whole game Florida State University's offense ran through them. I think they did a better job cheering the team on then FSU's cheerleaders. I lost count of how many interceptions Miami threw. What's worse was that it was the big homecoming rivalry at Miami. The only thing that made up for it was the fact that I didn't really care who won. I also had an avid Miami fan who I could poke fun at while we watch Miami usher FSU to the end zone.
3.) Hot pots are not just Korean, its an Asian thing - It's also noteworthy to mention that eating cabbage that has soaked in a pound of chili pepper is not the best way to preserve your palate or the stability of your bowels.
4.) If your name has a lot of a's, h's, ah sounds, or is Mohammed, you may want to check under your car - This is all in jest of course, but in all seriousness, it seems as if I am not the only one in my friend circle who noticed this: people who look like they're muslim or from the middle east always get a "random" search at the airport. But this time the power's that be went a little further.
http://gawker.com/5658671/dont-post-pictures-of-an-fbi-tracking-device-you-find-on-a-car-to-the-internet?skyline=true&s=i
Trufax. The more you know, huh?
Anyways, as always let me know what you have thought about my revelations. Follow me if you want cuz this blog will only get hotter like the hot pot I ate today. Alright that was corny...
Dueces
Today I learned four things:
1.) The world can sometimes be a violent place - Today, I visited an 08 Abboteer, if that is the way to say it, at duke. From the moment I entered the door I was bombarded by violence. First it was the game that he played: described by this exonian as The legend of zelda on a killing spree, darkspace, or doomsday, or the adventures of dark-chilling-gory-slice-and-dice superhero demon guy in a post apocalyptic world, or whatever it was called, proved this point right away. Soon after watching this wonderful game, we played halo. I got to be a big ol human blasting away the little imp aliens with a brute shot (even if you don't know what it is, it sounds painful right?). Afterwards, I watched 22 guys ram into each other on a 100 yard strip of land. I'm not complaining. I was quite entertained by all of it, especially the Stanford/USC game, in which Stanford won. It was amazing, they were down 1 point with a minute left, and they efficiently marched down the field to win. But that's besides the point; the world can be a violent place, and sometimes I enjoy it, but really dude? You have to wonder what was going through this guys head. I think he wins a bigger award than what gawker is giving him (by the way click this guy on gawkers page for the story):
http://gawker.com/5659834/man-stabs-random-8+year+old-kid-playing-video-games
2.)Miami was not a violent place today - Miami's football team best demonstrated this point. The whole game Florida State University's offense ran through them. I think they did a better job cheering the team on then FSU's cheerleaders. I lost count of how many interceptions Miami threw. What's worse was that it was the big homecoming rivalry at Miami. The only thing that made up for it was the fact that I didn't really care who won. I also had an avid Miami fan who I could poke fun at while we watch Miami usher FSU to the end zone.
3.) Hot pots are not just Korean, its an Asian thing - It's also noteworthy to mention that eating cabbage that has soaked in a pound of chili pepper is not the best way to preserve your palate or the stability of your bowels.
4.) If your name has a lot of a's, h's, ah sounds, or is Mohammed, you may want to check under your car - This is all in jest of course, but in all seriousness, it seems as if I am not the only one in my friend circle who noticed this: people who look like they're muslim or from the middle east always get a "random" search at the airport. But this time the power's that be went a little further.
http://gawker.com/5658671/dont-post-pictures-of-an-fbi-tracking-device-you-find-on-a-car-to-the-internet?skyline=true&s=i
Trufax. The more you know, huh?
Anyways, as always let me know what you have thought about my revelations. Follow me if you want cuz this blog will only get hotter like the hot pot I ate today. Alright that was corny...
Dueces
Thursday, October 7, 2010
That one post
My president is black, my lambos bl.....
Oh wait.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhA5yGj42eclUn99k6
Also, for those interested, today in the lab I got my Dexter's Laboratory on. Tripped a breaker and almost started a fire.
Cool.
Oh wait.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhA5yGj42eclUn99k6
Also, for those interested, today in the lab I got my Dexter's Laboratory on. Tripped a breaker and almost started a fire.
Cool.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Arrrr!: Piracy
Not much to say, stuck at home cuz the car won't start up. So I've decided to try my hand at reading bills... It didn't work to well, but hey, I guess I need to know how to do it some what, especially if I want to be an inventor.
The Bill:
http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/threatlevel/2010/09/CombatingOnlineInfringementAndCounterfeitsAct1.pdf
Commentary:
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20100920/12460811083/us-senators-propose-bill-to-censor-any-sites-the-justice-depatement-declares-pirate-sites-worldwide.shtml
So I'm torn. On the one hand I'm a pirate. I like pirating things occasionally, although I pay for a majority of things that I support. I like shared information, and much of my inspiration comes from it. I also have grown up loving characters like luffy, jack sparrow and patchy the pirate (at first for free and later paid for). The author of the commentary makes a valid point on hollywood, if it is true. On the other hand, as an inventor I wouldn't want people ripping my inventions off. I also do want to get rich so I can rule the world/colonize another planet/become Papa Abram (a play off of mother teresa though I don't nessecarily need to be rich for this). Choose one, either way copyrights have their uses.
What's your opinion? I personally want to travel the world to invent invent and help people develop their own technology, so while I wouldn't want people to just steal my product exactly, I wouldn't mind "Nike knock-offs;" how could I help others help themselves otherwise?
ARRRRRR! Look at that manly pirate beard.
P.S.
If anyone is interested in knowing how my gap year travel plans are going today or tomorrow I will be booking flights. While I can't guarantee the same pricing, I will be traveling to about 10 countries over the course of about 8 months for approximately $3000s. If anyone know how expensive flights are these days he would realize the amazingly cheapness of these deals.
I got help from this site: http://www.roundtheworldflights.com/. They were pretty amazing, in case anyone needs a similar site.
Also, just for anyone who goes to college, this link curtesy of kevin wu's facebook: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200911/intelligence-the-evolution-night-owls
The Bill:
http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/threatlevel/2010/09/CombatingOnlineInfringementAndCounterfeitsAct1.pdf
Commentary:
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20100920/12460811083/us-senators-propose-bill-to-censor-any-sites-the-justice-depatement-declares-pirate-sites-worldwide.shtml
So I'm torn. On the one hand I'm a pirate. I like pirating things occasionally, although I pay for a majority of things that I support. I like shared information, and much of my inspiration comes from it. I also have grown up loving characters like luffy, jack sparrow and patchy the pirate (at first for free and later paid for). The author of the commentary makes a valid point on hollywood, if it is true. On the other hand, as an inventor I wouldn't want people ripping my inventions off. I also do want to get rich so I can rule the world/colonize another planet/become Papa Abram (a play off of mother teresa though I don't nessecarily need to be rich for this). Choose one, either way copyrights have their uses.
What's your opinion? I personally want to travel the world to invent invent and help people develop their own technology, so while I wouldn't want people to just steal my product exactly, I wouldn't mind "Nike knock-offs;" how could I help others help themselves otherwise?
ARRRRRR! Look at that manly pirate beard.
P.S.
If anyone is interested in knowing how my gap year travel plans are going today or tomorrow I will be booking flights. While I can't guarantee the same pricing, I will be traveling to about 10 countries over the course of about 8 months for approximately $3000s. If anyone know how expensive flights are these days he would realize the amazingly cheapness of these deals.
I got help from this site: http://www.roundtheworldflights.com/. They were pretty amazing, in case anyone needs a similar site.
Also, just for anyone who goes to college, this link curtesy of kevin wu's facebook: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200911/intelligence-the-evolution-night-owls
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The second post
Weird day, has it been...
First of all, today, my car broke quit. My car has never been that reliable but she's always been a fighter. Whenever I drove my car it was fine; it overheated whenever stopped. Afterwards, if I sped off the radiator's needle dropped back from red to white (makes sense right?). Brown gunk spewed from beneath the hood, and noxious fumes crept through my vents if the car sat stationary for too long. In addition, if I didn't speed off, the car would rattle and chug along the road as if it a horse on a gravel road. But she was a nice car; she was red, shiny and sleek for a car its age. The exterior of the car deceives. So perhaps destiny did not favor my car. But the way she went out was, although frustrating at the time, hilarious now that I look back on it. I will now try to convey what happened in onomatopoeia, although it may be a little exaggerated....:
(For reference a healthy car starts up like Vrooom):
Nick: Bye Mom Bye Dad! Clat-clat-clat...creeeaaaaak. Man I don't want to go to work this early. Dnnnn.
Oh well might as well get ready for the day. clink, clink, clink. Yeah, thats the right key; alright here we go.
swishh...chic.bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hm... thats weird, let me turn it off and try again.... swisshhh....chic.bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Okay, let me try putting it in drive, generally it starts if I switch gears. clunk clunk.
chibzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... @#&! (needless to say, after an hour of on and off trying I didn't even get a vr-vr-vr-vrvrooom).
I tried calling a mechanic and to my dismay, he didn't show. Guess it wasn't meant to be... just means I get to drive my dad's car to work tomorrow, so I ain't mad.
Secondly, after waking up from my not-going-to-work-today-because-my-car-is-broken-nap I dropped my laptop in the perfect angle so that the head of the charger pierced the hole where the charger went, making it go completely black. I know, I'm skilled. So skilled that every time after attempting to turn it on, and fix it it gave me a media missing error. So in true Neanderthal logic, I gave the laptop one square punch to the top left corner, and like magic, now it works again... most of the time
Also, just because I have time (since I'm not at Exeter ahaha), I've been taking up the piano again. I can't believe I forgot how soothing it is. I really started playing because I was playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 with my younger brother, and then thought of this game -
- and then thought of this song:
Dire, Dire, Docks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqcPSbkS9TQ
Life was so simple and easy. Its ok, go ahead. Nostalgia. Enjoy, hope it makes someone's day.
Finally, heres the link and tidbit since we were talking about Super Mario Galaxy 2. I opened the way I did because I've been seeing a lot of these articles. True or not, its pretty interesting. Check them out.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43758/
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43333/ - keep in mind I also saw this on cnn.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43688/
First of all, today, my car broke quit. My car has never been that reliable but she's always been a fighter. Whenever I drove my car it was fine; it overheated whenever stopped. Afterwards, if I sped off the radiator's needle dropped back from red to white (makes sense right?). Brown gunk spewed from beneath the hood, and noxious fumes crept through my vents if the car sat stationary for too long. In addition, if I didn't speed off, the car would rattle and chug along the road as if it a horse on a gravel road. But she was a nice car; she was red, shiny and sleek for a car its age. The exterior of the car deceives. So perhaps destiny did not favor my car. But the way she went out was, although frustrating at the time, hilarious now that I look back on it. I will now try to convey what happened in onomatopoeia, although it may be a little exaggerated....:
(For reference a healthy car starts up like Vrooom):
Nick: Bye Mom Bye Dad! Clat-clat-clat...creeeaaaaak. Man I don't want to go to work this early. Dnnnn.
Oh well might as well get ready for the day. clink, clink, clink. Yeah, thats the right key; alright here we go.
swishh...chic.bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hm... thats weird, let me turn it off and try again.... swisshhh....chic.bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Okay, let me try putting it in drive, generally it starts if I switch gears. clunk clunk.
chibzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... @#&! (needless to say, after an hour of on and off trying I didn't even get a vr-vr-vr-vrvrooom).
I tried calling a mechanic and to my dismay, he didn't show. Guess it wasn't meant to be... just means I get to drive my dad's car to work tomorrow, so I ain't mad.
Secondly, after waking up from my not-going-to-work-today-because-my-car-is-broken-nap I dropped my laptop in the perfect angle so that the head of the charger pierced the hole where the charger went, making it go completely black. I know, I'm skilled. So skilled that every time after attempting to turn it on, and fix it it gave me a media missing error. So in true Neanderthal logic, I gave the laptop one square punch to the top left corner, and like magic, now it works again... most of the time
Also, just because I have time (since I'm not at Exeter ahaha), I've been taking up the piano again. I can't believe I forgot how soothing it is. I really started playing because I was playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 with my younger brother, and then thought of this game -
- and then thought of this song:
Dire, Dire, Docks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqcPSbkS9TQ
Life was so simple and easy. Its ok, go ahead. Nostalgia. Enjoy, hope it makes someone's day.
Finally, heres the link and tidbit since we were talking about Super Mario Galaxy 2. I opened the way I did because I've been seeing a lot of these articles. True or not, its pretty interesting. Check them out.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43758/
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43333/ - keep in mind I also saw this on cnn.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/43688/
Monday, October 4, 2010
The First Ever Post
Hey Friends,
I would say this is the ramblings of my mind, but I guess its more about the tidbits of information I find interesting along with the occasional update of my life and gap year. To be honest, this is really just about me not being lazy and finding a hobby. Maybe the motivation required to post to a blog on a fairly regular basis will eventually translate to my motivation to reach the stars. Or something cliche like that. Anyways, I really just hope that this blog will keep someone entertained and someone else informed.
So, without further ado, here's some food for thought: a possible helium shortage. Thoughts?
*** Edit****
$1000 party balloons = No more mickey mouse voices.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=the-coming-shortage-of-helium-2010-06-30
I would say this is the ramblings of my mind, but I guess its more about the tidbits of information I find interesting along with the occasional update of my life and gap year. To be honest, this is really just about me not being lazy and finding a hobby. Maybe the motivation required to post to a blog on a fairly regular basis will eventually translate to my motivation to reach the stars. Or something cliche like that. Anyways, I really just hope that this blog will keep someone entertained and someone else informed.
So, without further ado, here's some food for thought: a possible helium shortage. Thoughts?
*** Edit****
$1000 party balloons = No more mickey mouse voices.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=the-coming-shortage-of-helium-2010-06-30
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